Missing Moments of TCOT Lost Love
by StartWriting
Summary: Some missing moments from TCOT Lost Love, from which it's clear that Perry knew he was going home with Della all along. Though there were some struggles... last two chapters added, some fluff added, some corrections made, thanks to EE...
1. Chapter 1

_I'm still having problems with Laura Robertson and Perry in TCOT Lost Love. Luckily, I have found a few missing moments, that reassured me that Perry knew he was going home with Della all along. This is a couple of them. _

_Please keep on R&R, I need it_

_(Warning: Spoilers for TCOT Lost Love)_

**The first night **

After the fundraiser that evening, Perry and Della had a few drinks together in his suite. She kissed him goodnight lingering, and he held her, kissing her forehead, asking her boyishly if she was sure she didn't want to stay with him. She was tempted by his gaze, but she felt her need for time on her own, for sleep.

When she came into to her room, she remembered to get him his painpills, and went back to his suite to bring them. His knee had been killing him all day, and the cane didn't really help him. She didn't feel sorry for him, she had given him his pills every four hours as prescribed. But he just didn't take them. So she made sure he took them now, to ease the pain, enabling him to have a good night sleep. He mumbled a joke about her coming back for him to spend the night, when she wished him goodnight again and squeezed his arm.

A little later, while she was putting on her negligee, he came to her room, and excused himself, mumbling a joke again about him coming to her now to spend the night, but then he became serious. He said he would go to the Robertsons. Laura Robertson had come to fetch him, saying she and her husband were in trouble because of someone blackmailing them.

It would have been very easy for Della to ask him why this couldn't wait untill the morning, but she knew how he felt about Laura. Della had seen Perry's obvious ways around her tonight. She didn't really get it, she didn't really like it, but she had decided a long time ago to leave it. She felt Laura was no competition to her anymore. Besides, Laura and Glenn were married now, it seemed that Laura had made her choice, and just still liked to trifle with Perry.

Perry said he went to get information about the blackmailing, and to see if and how he could help them. And that he would let her know at breakfast. He kissed her deeply, said his knee felt better already, and then he held her tight. She delighted in his touch, secretly feeling sorry not accepting his offer to spend the night with him. Not that it would make any difference now.

The moment she heard a keycard in the door of her hotelroom, she was wide awake immediately, and held her breath. When she heard his heavy footsteps, she released a sigh and pretended to be asleep.

She felt him pulling up her covers. He spooned his broad body to her back, put his arm around her waist and held her tight. He buried his face in her hair.

She moaned softly, as if she was waking up.

" Della….. "

" Mmmm. This feels good."

She turned around in his embrace, and kissed him. She chuckled.

" You're still wearing your tux… and your shoes…."

" Della…." Something in his voice alarmed her.

" What's wrong? " She sat up and switched on the light next to her bed. He looked away from her exploring gaze.

" I went to the Robertsons…."

" Yes, you told me you were going there….."

" The police was there, asking Glenn about a murder….."

" A murder? "

" I took the defense of Glenn as he was answering questions about it."

" Of course you did, Perry. You told me you would help them if necessary. "

" When I went back, Laura thanked me for taking Glenn's defense. "

" So? " Her mind was already going through the practical details that resulted from his decision. First thing, she had to cancel their flight home tomorrow, then call Paul Drake jr. to get over here, set up an office in Perry's hotelroom, arrange things with the laundryservice of the hotel, maybe buy him some new shirts and ties, buy office supplies.

" Della…..."

" What's wrong, Perry? "

" I kissed her. " He got up from the bed.

She froze, as her mind travelled back in time. They had been through this before. Laura Robertson, Laura Martin before she got married to Glenn, had been one of the reasons why she had been so angry with Perry when he left to be a judge at the appeal court. He didn't tell Della, but for one reason or another, went to see Laura straight away when he was asked. It was partly because of Laura's conversation with him, he decided to take the judgeship. While he went away after his visit to Laura, just for a weekend, to think about it on his own, and to make up his mind, Laura had very happily come to Della to tell her all about his plans, and that she was so delighted to appear in front of him.

After that weekend, Della gave Perry no honest chance to explain himself to her as she felt so betrayed. He was angry with her for that, and for the fact that she didn't want to come with him. They had missed out for eight whole years, because of their stubbornness, stupid decisions, and misunderstandings. Then, at the very first moment she felt his arms around her again, she promised herself to never let anyone or anything come between them. As complicated as their relationship was sometimes, never again would she let herself be without him. She loved him and herself to much for that to happen again.

So now, she knew exactly what not to do.

" I kissed her. "

He sat down on the bedside again, holding his head while shaking it, expecting Della to be angry, or worse, sad.

How could he have been this stupid? It had started with the first sight of Laura tonight, and then the strange strong excitement when she had touched his hand, said that she had missed him, and kissed him on his cheek in the hotelbar. He had acted like a heated schoolboy. He was astonished and taken away by her powerful beauty, but he knew so very well from experience that that was all there was to her. She was smart, her knowledge of law and politics was considerate, but not extraordinary. No doubt she had also used her beauty to get to the top. She was nice and honest when it suited her, but if she wanted she could be as vicious and businesslike outside the courtroom as he was inside it.

So what the hell happened to him when she was around? What was this tension about? His ego? Was it his yearn to feel young again? To go back in time? To be without the damned cane? And, did he really want to know?

He felt Della sitting down next to him, moving close. He took in her scent, felt the softness of her skin, her warmth, the love of his life. He had to talk to her, that's what he came here for, but he felt embarrassed and sorry, wishing he could turn back time.

" Perry? " the soft tone of her voice surprised him. She squeezed his hand lightly.

He looked into her face, and was taken away by what he saw. Her face without make-up was as familiair to him as it was beautiful. The soft light lit up her hazel eyes. He didn't see anger. What he saw was some grief, but most of all there was tenderness. It touched him, made him weak.

" We've been through this before because of her, remember, Perry.…"

" I know, that's why…. " she stopped him by putting her indexfinger on his lips.

" What I did and said back then, and what you said, and how we felt, well, we talked about that. We agreed that it didn't help us. So, we should look at this in another perspective maybe….. "

He narrowed his eyes, trying to understand where she was going.

" You say you kissed her, now think about that. Did you kiss her, or did she kiss you? "

" What do you mean? "

" Did she move to kiss you, or did you move to kiss her? "

He remembered Laura put her hand on his chest when Glenn walked up the stairs, and she got on her toes to kiss him.

" She moved to me. "

Della swallowed, but the lump didn't go away completely.

" And what was it like? "

Della moved her hands to his neck to pull him close to her. She held his face, and looked into his questioning eyes.

" Was it like this? " she brushed her lips to his lightly.

" Or this? " she kissed him very short but firm.

" Or like this? " then she kissed him with her lips opened, nibbling his for a few seconds.

" Or this? " she trailed his lips with hers, very short sliding her tongue over his.

He smiled. She was so smart.

" Well…." He took a few seconds to decide how to play along.

" It wasn't like this….." He took her face in both hands, and kissed her passionately, parting her lips with his tongue.

" And it sure wasn't like this…." he whispered to her lips. He sought for her tongue with his, danced and played with it, while a small moan escaped his chest. They fell on the bed together, as he let go of her mouth to trail her jawline and kiss her neckside, then her collarbone, and the soft skin of the swell of her breast.

" I think you have to rest your case now…." she said, gasping for air. The lump in her throat had gone.

" I don't think I'm willing to move for a dismissal yet…..."

" Now, counselor….."

" Mmm-mmm. "

" Let me get you out of that tuxedo…. "

He marvelled at her while she took her time to gently undress him. She was all woman to him, all he needed, all he wanted. And all his, as she whispered the words he wanted to hear to his ear, softly sighing.

When their breathing steadied, she was in his arms, her body still heated. He kissed her swollen lips, tasted her sweat, and ravished in the scent of her sweetness.

" It might be a good idea to get some sleep now.…. " she whispered to his mouth.

" Della…." The loving strength of her reaction to his behavior tonight was still overwhelming him.

" Baby…" And now she moved right to his heart with her soft, husky voice.

" Whatever happens, please remember I will always be with you. I will always love you. " He kissed her, withholding his emotions.

" I'll make sure you'll remember, Perry Mason. And you better know that I'm not giving in, not ever. "


	2. Chapter 2

**The last night - 1**

_The last night, before the trial ends, Della gives Perry the photo's from which it is clear that Laura is the killer. This is what happens when Perry finds out the truth, and comes to Della's room to talk about it. _

He seemed agitated. Della felt sorry for him, but only to a certain extend. He could have known that Laura had been playing with him. Yet she was worried. His face was tired, his eyes were dark.

" Have you seen the photo's? "

" Yes, I have. "

" Why didn't you tell me? " His voice sounded angry. She started to feel uncomfortable, and crossed her arms in front of her.

" What do you mean? "

" What if I had missed this? What if I hadn't seen it before tomorrow? "

" I wouldn't have let that happen, Perry. If you hadn't been here or if you hadn't phoned in half an hour, I would have come to you and found a way to tell you. "

" Found a way? "

" Yes, found a way. I don't want you to be hurt. " Her voice was soft.

" Hurt because of what? " He knew the answer to his question, but he did not want to be treated as a little boy.

" I just didn't want to be the one to explain to you how she used you, Perry. "

" Maybe she had a good reason. Or maybe she gave Glenn the cigarettebox afterwards. I should have known before, Della, so I could have talked to her about it today. "

She felt an immense anger coming up as he was not being his reasonable self. He was still protecting Laura, as much as he was protecting himself. She narrowed her eyes, and swallowed before she allowed her voice to hit him.

" Don't be ridiculous, Perry. You know that that wouldn't have made any difference to the truth. I presume you have gone through the facts. She is the only one who could have been there…"

He stared at her, his eyes were fierce.

" Since when do you know? "

" Since I saw the pictures this morning. "

" You have had all day to tell me, Della. "

He paced, ignoring his knee screaming at him, his hands in his pockets, his mind going through new strategies. He didn't just bluntly want to confront Laura in court tomorrow, he had to speak to her first...in private.

" Don't take this out on me, Perry. You only have yourself to blame here. "

" What? Why? "

" Did you question her? "

" I talked to her a couple of times, you know that I did…." He looked away from her exploring eyes. He still ignored the obvious.

" Oh, yes, I know. But that was not what I asked. Did you question her? "

" Are you questioning me? " he raised his voice.

" Don't change the subject, Perry. Answer me. Did you ask Laura about her whereabouts on the evening of the murder? And how thoroughly did you investigate her alibi? "

" I…..no, but…" He did not want to admit that he had overlooked, no, he had ignored the possibility that Laura could be the killer. " That's a vicious thing to suggest..…"

But it wasn't. The painful sharpness of the truth went through him like a fresh cut knife. So what if Della had told him when she found out right away? He could have talked it through with Laura today, to hear her say she gave the cigarettebox to Glenn, while he knew she couldn't have?

And he could have listened to her lying to him again, face to face? Using her tricks on him? Again?

" Oh, vicious is it? Is it, really? Then tell me something else, Perry….something that I think is vicious. " She turned around, to hide form his piercing blue eyes for just a moment.

" What? " his anger rose together with his despair. He was furious, with himself, not having been able to control this, not having been thinking straight. But instead of blaming himself, he blamed the only person that had stood by him al along.

" You just took her innocence for granted, Perry, right from the start, didn't you? " Her sharp voice got to him, he couldn't hide from her. He knew what she was going to say.

Tears of frustration and anger filled her eyes. She turned around to face him, and whiped the tears from her eyes. She steadied her breathing. Her voice was very low, and calm, as she hit him with it again.

" Listen to me now very carefully. I want you to fully understand what I'm about to say. "

She inhaled. He closed his eyes at her tone of voice.

" I have been working with you for many years now, counselor. I can only think of one time, only one time, you took someone's innocence for granted, without investigating first. Only once. Untill now. "

He gasped.

" I want you to seriously consider what that means, Perry. Take your time to think about it. Now, if you'll excuse me. We have a long and hard day in front of us tomorrow, and I want to do my job properly. I need to get some sleep. "

She turned around and hurried into her bedroom. He damned his knee for unabling him to keep up with her and grab her, as she slammed the door in his face.

He hit the door with his hand, turned around and sat down on her couch.

" Damn…! " He put his head in his hands, shook it, and hit the coffeetable in front of him.

Not now, not this way, not again. Not because of Laura.

" Damn it! " He felt an enormous tension going through his veins, his body trembled with anger, powerlessness. He got up to go to this own suite. The moment he slammed the door of her hotelroom, he wished he hadn't.

He went into his suite, downed a scotch, and another, and another. He sat down at his desk, and rubbed his eyes. He had to take a few minutes to calm down, to find out what just happened. What had Della suggested? Did she really think Laura was as important to him as she was? Was she really comparing her case to the Robertson's? What was it?

" Bloody fool! " She was so right about him, he had been such an idiot around Laura.

" Not like this, I won't have it…. " He went through the pockets of his suitjacket, to find the keycard to her hotelroom. He took the scotch and two glasses with him. They were going to solve this, even if it was going to take them untill the morning. He had already set the strategy for court tomorrow,and there was enough adrenaline going through his veins now to survive a sleepless night.

But what he could not survive, was being without Della, tonight, tomorrow. Or ever.

When he entered her room, he went straight to her bedroomdoor and listened. There was no sound. He knocked.

" Della. Open up. "

" It is not locked, Perry." He heard her tears and swallowed.

" Open up to me. " He wasn't referring to the door.

" It's open. " She wasn't referring to the door either.

He opened the door, unwilling to see what he was about to see. She was sitting on the bedside, holding a pillow, her shoulders were shaking.

" You're wrong, Della. I knew you were innocent. "

" No, you came running to me, like you ran to her. "

" That's not what I meant. You were right about me not extensively questioning Laura, about not investigating her. That was wrong, it was very not me. I was stupid.

But you, you were wrong about you."

" What do you mean? " She watched him now, sobbing with red eyes. The sight of her tears broke his heart. He reached for her, but she refused to touch him, and looked away again.

" Look at me. "

" No."

" Look at me, damn it! "

She heard an unfamiliair sound of despair in his trembling voice, it made her look into his eyes.

" I knew you were innocent. "

" No, you didn't just know I was innocent. You didn't question me, you didn't go through my movements, you just assumed I was innocent. Like you did now with Laura. What's the difference? "

" You, Della, you. If you had been guilty, if you had killed Arthur Gordon, you wouldn't have called for me. You would never have used me like Laura did. "

He sat down next to her on the bed, cursing himself. He put his hand on hers, but she pulled away.

" Della….I'm so sorry... " She turned her body away from him. " I know I have no right to ask you this…...but I want to be with you tonight. "

" No, you have no right. " She sobbed.

" Please, let me hold you. "

" No. "

" Please, Della. "

" No. " Her sobbing cut right through his heart.

" I can't bare to be without you. Don't do this. "

" Go. "

" Della….. "

" Go, now, Perry. Go."

" Baby….."

" No. Go away now. Leave me alone. "

" Okay, I'll go. " He got up, and walked to the door slowly. " But remember what I said when this started, Della. I will always be with you. I will always love you. "

He heard her clearing her throat, her voice was soft, but so powerful.

" So you said. But what does that mean in real life, Perry? Does loving me and being with me for always also mean you can have the convenience to accuse me of neglecting your own duties? Blame me for your own stupidities? "

" No, it does not. That's just me being a fool. " His voice broke.

_No, it's not over yet...I' ll post the next chapter soon..._


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for R&R the first two chapters, and special thanks to Eastender for your help!_

**The last night - 2**

Back in his suite, he sank onto the couch. He felt drops running down from his face. It took him a few seconds to realise they were his tears.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, cursing himself. He forced himself to be practical and responsible, going through the events of the next day. He would fetch Della tomorrow morning for breakfast in his room, and tell her again how very sorry he was. He'd tell her they had to get through the courtsession, and then spend time together just the two of them, to rest, to talk. This case had been wearing them out, his behaviour, her caring, the tension. Laura.

He thought of going to Della now, and tell her about his plans. Then he could see how she was doing, see if she had stopped crying. He picked up his cane, and opened the door of his suite to go and talk to her, but then he leaned his forehead against the door, and closed it again. What right did he have to disturb her? Just because he needed her? Maybe she was sleeping now, and they'd better talk in the morning.

He damned his insecurity. What happened to the great Perry Mason, master of the courtroom? He wasn't mastering his heart very well now, was he?

He sat back on the couch again, and closed his eyes. The need for sleep creeped up on him, making him feel cold, weary. He should take a shower, and go to sleep. Or maybe take a shower in the morning. Or both. His indecisiveness made him furious. He wondered if he really needed Della's nearness to take decisions.

Then he realised he did.

He froze when he heard the door to his suite open. It couldn't be her? Could it?

It was her. He could tell by the gentle footsteps coming his way, her breathing, her scent, the familiair sound of her silk robe dancing around her body. His girl. He felt tears coming to his eyes, but swallowed the lump in his throat. She was keeping their promise to never go to bed angry.

He opened his eyes. Della sat down on the coffeetable in front of him. She had taken a shower, her hair was a mess of wet curls, her face without make-up, her eyes were red. She brought the bottle of scotch with her, and the two glasses. She poured the strong liquid into the glasses, and handed him one, avoiding his eyes.

" I hate you sometimes, Perry Mason. "

" Sometimes I hate me too. "

" Well, you shouldn't, " her soft voice broke to her own dislike, " it turns you into an unguided missile, causing so much damage. "

" I'm sorry, Della. I'm so very sorry. " He wanted to touch her, but he didn't.

" I am sorry too. I pulled back from you. But you're the one that really should be sorry. You went so far away from me, I couldn't reach you. "

" What happened to me, Della, these weeks? What have I done? "

Slowly, in her own soft way, she told him about his behaviour, his inability to set priorities, his unnecessary late night visits to the Robertsons, while they both knew Glenn would not be around. The times he held hands with Laura just a bit too long, his lingering lunches with her, his stares.

" My God. " He put his hand on his forehead, rubbed his eyes, and stroke his beard.

" Why didn't you tell me, why didn't you confront me? "

" Are you accusing me again of not doing what you should have done yourself? You're seventy years old, Perry. You should know these things, you of all people should know. "

" What I do know is that I love you….. "

They sat still for a while, looking at eachother. She saw he had been crying too, and damned the lump in her throat. The scotch didn't make it go away.

He was touched by her beauty, still, her intelligence, her strength to come to him to talk, while he was struggling to find his way back to her. He leaned forward, just a bit, and touched her knee. When she accepted his nearness, he put his hand on her calf and pulled her leg to him, to gently carress her foot, and her shin.

At the familiair sensation of his gentle touch, she cracked.

" Della…..I'm so sorry, God, my dear Della…."

" Hold me. Just hold me. "

" Come here. "

He took her onto his lap and held her, while she was crying quiet sobs to his shoulder. She buried her face in his neck, putting her arms around it. He stroke her back, her arms, her hair. When she slowly calmed down, he inhaled her scent, being so thankful for her sweetness, her softness. He had a lot to make up to her, a lot to talk about, but she was here now, in his arms. Giving them a chance.

" I love you, Della, please don't ever doubt how much I love you." He whispered and placed soft kisses in her hair.

" I know you do. I love you too. I love you more than life itself. " She sighed and took his face in both hands, and looked into his eyes. " What happens to us, when this woman is around, Perry? We pull back from eachother, I make a fool of myself, feeling so insecure, not talking to you, and you, you just ….well, you…"

" ….act like a heated schoolboy….."

" ….worse…"

" Yes, even worse…. " He brushed a curl from her face. " What about taking a week off, when this trial is over? We need to rest, we need to talk. We need some distraction. "

He carressed her cheek, then he whispered. " I love you….I need you…. " For more than talking and sleeping, he thought. A small wave of desire went through his tired body. How was that for being a heated schoolboy. He smiled, cursing himself at the same time.

" I'd love to spend some time with you alone. " She nodded, leaning back to his broad shoulder, delighting in feeling his strong, warm arms around her. She still should be angry with him, but she couldn't. Her need for him was as big as his need for her. They were two parts of the same mind, their work and lives so very joined together.

She played with the ring on his little finger. He held his head to the side to look into her eyes. The grief had gone, her teary eyes were still red, but smiled at him again. Tired, beautiful hazel eyes. Without noticing what he was doing, he put his finger under her chin and kissed her.

They sat together, holding eachother, stroking, kissing, whispering, enjoying their familiair touch, their soothing moments of silence. Slowly, the tension and strong emotions of their row left them. He felt her body relaxing against him, as she was falling asleep.

" Della…... we should go to bed. "

She yawned. " I suppose so…."

" I maybe still don't have a right to ask you, but I still want you to stay with me."

" I actually didn't plan on leaving, counselor…."

He grinned at her using his nickname, and shook his head while she got up to go to his bathroom. He got undressed and lay down in his bed, allowing his tiredness to wash over him.

When she came to his bedside, he held the covers up for her to get next to him. She let her robe fall down to the floor. He gasped. She was naked underneath.

He couldn't help himself, smiling at her beauty. How gentle had age been to her. She noticed his gaze.

" Don't even think about it, Perry Mason. "

He gave her a dimpled smile. " I'll do nothing if you don't want me to. But please, do let me dream... "

" Just hold me. I need you to hold me. "

" I will. " He kissed her lightly, and took her into a tight embrace, feeling every inch of her soft skin close to him.

She turned around in his embrace so he could spoon up to her. He put his arm around her waist, and pulled her close to him. She felt herself melting to his warm broad chest, feeling so very safe in his arms.

It took them only seconds to fall asleep.

_There's another chapter coming up….._


	4. Chapter 4

_Fluff coming up. From all the MM's, this is the one I would have wanted to see most, Laura's deception. I know it's childish, you can make fun of me, this one had to get out of my system. _

_Thanks again, Eastender! Please keep on R&R!_

**The morning**

He woke up around six, like he always did. He missed Della in his arms, opened his eyes and sighed. She had moved from him, but she was still there. Sleeping on her side, she breathed calmly, and held her pillow in such a way that he had a delicious view on her neck, shoulder, collarbone, and the soft swell of her breast.

Their everlasting promise to never go to sleep angry at eachother, had certainly shortened some nights, but made waking up so much nicer. He moved closer to her, she moved a little, adjusting her body to his. He kissed her neck.

Her softness and warmth reached his groin before he could control it. He grinned, and tickled her ear and neck with his beard, placing soft kisses to wake her up. They had a busy morning ahead of them, he didn't want to be in a hurry. He wanted them to take their time to have breakfast in his room, and he needed time to go over the last details of the courtsession. She had to start packing. He really wanted to go home today. With Della.

" Mmmmm, I usually hate to wake up, but if it's like this….," she said, while she yawned and strectched herself out.

" Did you like it? "

" Hmm, I did. " She stroke his beard. " Did you sleep well? "

" Like a log. "

" Me too…. how do I look? " her eyes felt swollen from crying. He kissed her eyes, and pretended to explore them carefully.

" You're beautiful as ever, my girl. "

" You sound a bit biased, counselor. I'll check how bad it is myself in the mirror later on. "

" Della, " He looked into her eyes and stroke her cheek. " I'm so glad you're here…"

" Me too. " She pulled him to her, to kiss him and hold him close. She enjoyed his very soft morning warmth. " I love you so much, Perry. "

" I love you more. " He kissed her neck, trailed her jawline, kissed her forehead. His breathing heavied as he brushed his face to hers. She loved his desire waking up together with him, it was so familiair to her it made her weak. She kissed his cheek and moved her body closer to him, placing her leg over his thigh. Her hands carressed his neck. He kissed her, and deepened their kiss as he parted her lips with his tongue, gently, but demanding. She moaned approvingly.

The ringing of the phone interrupted their carressings.

" Don't go anywhere."

" I can't " she chuckled. He held her tight to him, when he took up the phone.

" Yes ", he grunted.

" I'm sorry to wake you up, mr. Mason, but there is a lady here to see you about the trial. She insisted that I woke you up. "

" Who is it? "

" Mrs. Laura Robertson, sir. "

" I can't see her right now. I'm working on the last details. Tell her I'll meet her in the lobby in two hours. "

" She says you told her she can come up to your room, sir."

" She can't, " he rubbed his eyes, " but tell her gently. "

" But, sir…."

" I don't want anymore disturbances from now on."

" I'll make sure you will not be disturbed anymore, mr. Mason. "

He put the phone down and returned to Della's face.

" Laura? "

" Laura….." No comment. " Now, weren't we in the middle of something…. "

" Working on the last details, u-uh. "

" Well, I was planning to work on you in detail…. " He grazed at her neck, and travelled downwards to disappear under the covers. She chuckled at first, and then moaned extensively.

" Perry, maybe we shouldn't…." but the waves of passion going through her body told him not to stop.

" And why the hell not.…. " he continued kissing, biting softly, carressing every little inch of her body he found, until she gasped for air.

She smiled when he came back to her face, his hair and beard ruffled up.

" If you are that hungry, you better order some breakfast…"

" I did, it'll be here at seven, " he kissed her lightly, " but that still takes about another twenty minutes…...", he kissed her again and explored her face, " and how hungry are you? "

" I don't think I want to wait for twenty minutes…." He saw in her eyes that she meant what he thought she meant. He wanted nothing more than this, to make love to her, to show her how much he loved her.

So he did. At her absolute approval.

They still panted softly, while she played with his hair, his head resting on her chest. She put her arms around him, feeling warm, loved, glad she had come back to him last night, and he came back to her.

" I love the idea of us being together after this for a whole week, Perry, where do you want to go?

" I thought we just stay at my place. I want to cook for you, and spoil you untill you have enough of me. " He kissed the soft skin between her breasts.

" Untill I have enough of you? Oh, my….." she chuckled. " I'll buy so much groceries, we won't have to leave the appartment for a few days. "

" Mmm-mmm, that sounds wonderful….." He didn't care, as long as she was with him.

She brought her mouth to his and kissed him. An unexpected strong wave of passion went through him. The movements of her body told him she wanted more of him. He smiled. He moved his body on hers, gently not to crush her and captured her mouth. She moved her hands, leaving him no doubt about her intentions.

" Della, baby…. no...…we have to get up..." she heard the regret in his voice.

" It is still quite early…."

" Yes, it is. So we can take our time to have breakfast, miss Street. And, I need some time to go over the outlines of this mornings' session. And, let's not forget, Mrs. Robertson will be back to see me at eight thirty downstairs. " There was no need to use mrs. Robertsons first name apparently.

" She will. You better see her. " He sought her eyes to see if she meant it. She did.

" She must be worried, Perry. You're quite close to revealing the truth, she must know that. You better see how she is, before you put her on the stand. "

" Maybe…." he kissed her gently, " I'm going to take a shower, are you coming with me? "

" No…you just refused me…," she pouted. He chuckled.

" Do you want me to go to your room and get you some clothes? "

" No, I brought them in with me last night. I only have to fetch my make-up. "

" Oh, you were quite prepared, weren't you? "

He stood up, and sank down on the bed again, his face in a pain-like grimace.

" Damn…. "

" Your knee? "

" I always forget about it, when I'm, you know, preoccupied with you…. "

" I'll get you your pills."

She put on her robe and went for her purse. She had left it close to the door of his suite, together with her clothes when she came in last night. The smell of scrambled eggs and fresh coffee reached her as soon as she opened the bedroomdoor.

" Mmmmm, breakfast is already here, Perry. We better have it, before we get dressed. "

She heard him stumble.

" Wait, honey… " She took the little trolley and pushed it into the bedroom. " We'll have breakfast in bed…"

Laura Robertson paced at the reception's desk.

" He said he will meet you in the lobby in two hours, mrs. Robertson. I'm sorry. There is nothing more I can do for you now. "

" But I need to see him now. I need to talk to him. "

" I'm sorry. He said he can't see you now. "

" Did you wake him up? "

" No, he was already working. "

" Can you please phone his room again, and let me speak to him? "

" I'm very sorry, mrs. Robertson. Mr. Mason said he doesn't want to be disturbed anymore. "

" Well, thank you for nothing….." Stupid unwilling receptionist. Laura was as furious, as she felt desperate. She hadn't slept all night. She had to tell Perry what had happened, and that it had been wrong to pretend she didn't know. She wanted to talk to him, before talking to Glenn, before ariving in court. They had to find a way to clear Glenn, without revealing she was guilty. After all it had been an accident. Perry would understand, he would hold her and tell her things were going to be fine, he would find a way. She wanted to be close to him now. Not in two hours…..

This was not the way things were meant to be. She was not going to have it like this. She went into the elevator, to go to the suites on the seventh floor. She knew his roomnumber and rushed through the hall to his suite. Just when she wanted to knock on the door, a waiter came out.

" Excuse me.…"

" Yes, ma'am? "

" I forgot my keycard to the room. Could you please let me in? "

He smiled at her. Her face was familiair to him, but he wasn't quite sure from what or where.

" No, ma'am, I can't. But if you forgot your keycard, you can ask for a new one at the reception. "

" But you have a card. Didn't you just bring in breakfast? "

" Yes, ma'am, but I can't let you in. I really can't do that. "

" It's okay, I am a friend. I know he is awake, I'll knock, and he'll let me in. " She pushed the waiter aside and went to the door. He stopped her.

" Ehm… are you sure they are expecting you ma'am? "

" They….?, " could darling Della be in there already, this early? Or this private detective?

" Well, yes, I think they do. "

" Are you sure about that, ma'am? "

" Yes, why? "

" Well, they…. ehm… well...they seemed to be preoccupied, if you know what I mean. " He blushed, and looked away from her.

She looked at him quizzically. " No, I don't know what you mean. If you mean that they are working, that is exactly what I came here to talk to him..….to them about. "

" Well, I wouldn't exactly want to call it working, ma'am. " He chuckled in a mysterious way. " I really have to go now, I do have to get working."

He walked down the hall, and she ran after him.

" What do you mean, you wouldn't call it working? " but she didn't want to know actually. Very slowly, stabbing, the truth entered her brain.

" Ma'am…. "

" Tell me! "

He blushed again, looked around, and then whispered, " I think they were making love, ma'am….."

No. She felt sick. He had to be wrong.

The waiter saw her face turning pale, and looked at her concerned.

" Are you all right, ma'am? "

" Yes, I…. I'm fine, thank you. I just need to get some fresh air…."

She held onto the wall. So Perry loved someone, and it had to be Della. She could have known, but she had ignored it. She just hadn't want it to be true. But it had been there all along, his pulling back from kissing her, his refusal to spend the night when Glenn wasn't at home.

Perry and Della. She remembered her little conversation with Della in his suite. She had looked the other way when Laura asked her if she ever got married. The way Della had looked at Perry, when she fled the room afterwards. Their gestures at eachother in the courtroom.

Then was his concern for her just a professional courtesy? What had she been thinking? Wasn't she just reliving some old memories? She needed time to think.

She went into the elevator, to be outside as soon as possible. She did need some fresh air now.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for R&R!

**The last day**

Della waited just outside the courtroom for Perry and Paul. Now that this trial had ended, she felt empty and tired. So many emotions and so little sleep.

Glenn was still in shock and disbelief when he embraced Della to thank her, he was trembling while he kept whispering that he loved Laura no matter what. Della had just felt sorry for him. She held him very firmly, kissed him on his cheek, saying that everything was going to be all right. What else was there to say?

Paul Drake jr. walked out of the courtroom, he was obviously thrilled with his unexpected date with Linda. Della smiled at him. " You go and have fun, Paul. "

" Thanks, Della, I will. Perry's still in there by the way. "

" On his own? "

" Yes, on his own…in deep thought. You know, staring, with his hand on his chin and all. "

Paul watched Della's hesitation, and put his hands on her shoulders. " What the heck are you waiting for, Della? Go in there and get the guy. I think you're the one he needs most now….. " He kissed her on her cheek. " I'm outta here. See you soon, dear. Make sure he's all right. "

" I will, Paul. I will. Bye, Paul. "

Paul was probably right. She walked back into the courtroom. He still sat there, his face was worn out and he rubbed his beard and his eyes. The sight of him like this, his mind obviously going through the events of this exhausting morning, made her weak. It made her realize how much she loved him, and how much she wanted to take him home.

This morning, when he had come back to the suite from his meeting with Laura, he had said nothing, but held her in his arms for a long time, and then kissed her forehead very tenderly. She had known better than to ask how he was. She noticed he was already unfolding his courtroomattitude, tensioning his body, straightening his back, building up concentration, the stonefaced mask appearing on his face. But before he let go of her, he whispered to her ear. " Just be there, Della. I need you on my side, especially now. "

Somehow, she could tell Laura hadn't confessed to him.

" I'm always there, Perry. And I'll be right there next to you today. "

_Laura had arranged to meet Perry in the office of the hotelmanager, which in fact had made him grin. So very Laura. She had made the chief of the hotel leave his own office, for the convenience of her majesty the senator herself. _

_The moment he came in, she went straight for his arms. He didn't respond to her embrace, but held her at her upperarms and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes at the touch of his lips. " Perry. "_

_" How are you, Laura? And how is Glenn? " _

_" I don't know, Perry. Please, tell me. How are we? Will you get him out today? Will you bring an end to this nightmare for us? " _

_How could she be so guilty and so innocent at the same time? _

_" I think I might, yes. Now what is it you wanted to talk to me about, Laura? You were here so very early... "_

_" Glenn wasn't home last night, I haven't slept at all. You know, I don't like to be alone, and I thought, well, Perry, you being the same you, had to be awake at six. I wanted to talk to you. " She looked up into his eyes. " But you were too busy, obviously….. "_

_He ignored her accusing look and tone of voice. _

_" So where was Glenn? Where is he now? Is he going to be in time for court? "_

_" He'll be here on time, Perry. He said he was going to see a friend. He said he needed time to talk to someone else than us. Someone from outside the courtroom. "_

_" You say 'he said'. Do you have reasons not to believe him? "_

_" I feel I have to believe him, Perry." She looked at him with a dark gaze. " At least I'm quite sure he's not having sex with his secretary. " _

_He tried to ignore her last remark, not quite sure what she meant with it. He sat down at the desk and rubbed his hands. _

_" Now, Laura….." _

_No man had ever made her shiver by just saying her name, just his low voice could manage to sweep her of her feet. She felt annoyed she couldn't get any further through to him. He hadn't even answered her embrace. She touched his hand, wanting him to look into her eyes. _

_" Oh, you still don't say 'having sex', do you? I remember you prefered to say 'making love' . I remember that you told me just before we…." _

_" I remember…." he smiled. At least, a reaction. _

_She moved closer to him, taking in his scent, still touching his hand, her other hand playing with the lapel of his suitjacket. No man had ever made her feel like he had, making love to her, ever. Not even Glenn. She still sometimes pretended Perry was with her instead of Glenn, his handsome face with his demanding mouth, kissing her deeply, his lips grazing at her skin. _

_" So, who are you making love to nowadays, Perry Mason? " _

_" Laura, I ….I'm not here to discuss my private life with you….." _

_" I used to be part of your private life, Perry…" He looked up to her face, his blue eyes gentle, but without any passion. Without the mesmerizing gaze of the night they met at the fundraiser, and had this promising conversation at the hotelbar. _

_" You were, Laura. And you still are a very dear friend to me. But I'm defending your husband now. We have to concentrate on that. Times have changed, we have changed. Our lives are different now. "_

_" I don't like to think I'm just a dear friend to you, Perry. " Her hand stroke his slowly. " We used to be so much more…. " _

_" Yes, we used to be. But, you're a married woman. And I'm ….. " He took her hand from his chest and kissed her fingers, before pulling away from her. He avoided her eyes. It frustrated her, made her angry._

_" It is your secretary, isn't it? Is it Della? " _

_" She's not just my secretary, Laura. "_

_" Oh, well, is she also a dear friend to you, Perry? Is that what you do to your dear friends? You make love to them, and then leave them aching for you? "_

_" Dear God, Laura… we talked about this so many times… Is this what you came to talk to me about? I have to get prepared for court…. " But she didn't listen to him._

_" So many gorgeous, ambitious women in the world, and then Della Street is in your bed? A secretary, Perry, very beautiful and faithful of course, steadfast, loyal, maybe even smart, but a secretary. You deserve someone so much more…... " She knew she had to stop right there._

_But she didn't._

_" You could have had me…. " _

_" Laura, you know I couldn't….… now stop this, please…. " Yet he couldn't be angry with her. Apart from the anger, he heard the despair in her voice. She had to be scared. He had thought of talking to her about her guilt, but he wanted her to bring up the subject. He wanted her to confess to him because she wanted to herself. If he had to make her confess, he'd do it in court. He sought her eyes to see where she was heading. The sight of them made him stop breathing for a second._

_Damn those eyes. Maybe even more beautiful than thirty-five years ago. He remembered that perticular night, the last night they were together, when the wine had been as tasty as her lips. He remembered kissing her deeply, lifting her slender body in his arms to take her into his bedroom. He made love to her, while guilt stabbed his brain. Guilt towards her, because he pretended she was someone else, another woman he wanted so much more. That night, every kiss was meant for Della, every carressing, every single breath he was taking, and when he finally lost control, he had stopped himself just before he was going to sigh Della's name. _

_He had used her that night, his mind and body already belonging to someone else. And she noticed. Her goodbye at the airport the next morning had been as sad and cold as her mood at breakfast, when he had explained and had said he was sorry, and she had said she understood. Yet, she hadn't. She had tried to get him back at numerous occassions, unsuccesfully. _

_And here she was again, beautiful, stubborn and manipulating as ever. Now guilty to a crime, making her unknowing, innocent husband go through hell for her. Not even able to care to admit. Not even to him._

_He realised she wasn't going to tell him. So, he'd get it out in court today. Not something to look forward to. He sighed. _

_" I am not going to argue with you about my choices, Laura. I'm here to do my job. " His voice was soft. His mind was already setting his strategy for the coming session. _

_" So, it is her? " No, no, no. " Do you really love her, Perry? "_

_" I do. More than anything. " _

_" She still is just a secretary, from where I'm standing." _

_" From where I'm standing, she's my wife. " _

_" She isn't. She told me she never married. " _

_He stood up from his chair, unbalanced, asking himself why he hadn't brought the cane with him. Why was it still so very necessary to not age in front of Laura? _

_" Laura, if this is all you wanted to talk to me about, I'm going upstairs to my suite to prepare for court. "_

_" When did you marry her? "_

_" Laura… "_

_" When? Was it before or after you had me, counselor? " He observed the tears swelling in her eyes, and felt a small sting of guilt. He decided to tell the truth. _

_" Two months after. "_

_She turned around. _

_He put his hand on her shoulder. One last chance. " What did you come to talk to me about? " _

_" It's not important anymore, Perry. You just do your job. Get my husband free of charges. " _

_" At any price? " _

_" At any price. " _

_" I'll see you in court then. "_

_" Yes, I'll see you in court, Perry. "_

_The first time his eyes would meet hers again, was in court, when he called her to the stand to reveal the awful truth. _

Now Della stacked his documents in front of him, put them in his briefcase, and lay her hand gently on his shoulder.

" Are you ready to go, counselor? "

" Yes, I'm…., I'm just…" He shook his head and sighed.

She sat down on the table, next to where he sat, and watched his tired face. He took her hand, and gently kissed her fingers with his eyes closed, then pressed her hand to his forehead.

" I feel numb, Della. Empty. "

She squeezed his hand, being aware of the bailiff clearing the exhibits from the courtroom. They were not alone. " Let's go to the hotel, Perry. You can get some rest and something to eat, while I check out and organize us a taxi to the airport. "

" Yes, let's go. I want us home…."

They walked out of the courtbuilding, both yearning for some fresh air. She held her briefcase and his cane. He held his briefcase, and her elbow.

Suddenly Della stood still. " I think you have to talk to Laura before you leave, Perry. "

" What? Why? "

" You have to go and see her. You have to say goodbye to her. "

" I did. In there. " He pointed to the courtroom.

" No, you didn't. That was defending your client. You have to say goodbye to her in private. "

" Maybe…"

" No, not maybe, " she pointed at the door next to them. " Laura's in there somewhere, Perry. Please, find her and say goodbye to her…. "

" No, I really don't feel like it, Della. I've had enough of all this. She wasn't fair to me, she used me. "

" I remember you also used her once, Perry. "

" What? " He turned to her to say something, but she cut him off. " You might regret it if you don't see her now. "

He sighed. " I don't get it, Della. Why do you insist? "

" Let's just say, I know what it feels like if someone doesn't say goodbye properly...…"

He grunted, rubbing his eyes. " Oh, all right. Point taken, Miss Street. "

" Perry..." she handed him the cane.

" No…"

" You need it, baby…" He took his cane from her, and walked towards the door to the holdingrooms. Then he turned around.

" Don't you go anywhere…"

" I'll bring our briefcases to the car and wait for you outside. Don't worry. I'll be there. "


	6. Chapter 6

He had taken in the scent of his youth, and kissed her fingers, before saying goodbye.

" Goodbye, Laura. "

She hadn't answered him, trembling, sinking down on her chair. Maybe she had expected him to save her from herself. But in the end, he had decided not to take their case.

He ignored the tears in his eyes, walking out of the holdingroom, with the damned cane, without looking back. This hurt so much, it wasn't just saying goodbye to a beautiful woman, to a friend, was it? This was saying goodbye to the things that were, and were never to return.

The light outside hurt his eyes. He took in the fresh air, and walked towards Della, watching her from behind. She had been part of more than half of his life. His beautiful lady, his girl Friday. Mixed emotions filled his brain. Sometimes he told her how sorry he was that he couldn't dance with her like in the old days, and then she used to say they had so much lovely memories to sway on together, she couldn't care less. She'd say 'just hold me', and then that's what he did, holding her close to his heart anyway. Dancing away in their minds.

Now, he had a whole week to enjoy her company, and of course after that they had so much more time together, working, laughing, enjoying. He promised himself to tell her time and time again how much he loved her, he'd spoil her, buying her presents, cooking for her, making love to her. Like he used to do in the old days. Not very much had changed after all. It seemed time had just added some wrinkles to them, some scars and some 'defects' as she'd call it. Now she was here, wasn't she? And he was here. They were going home. Together. They were blessed.

Della waited on the stairs, her white coat tucked around her, feeling cold in his absence. She didn't like the idea of him being inside alone with Laura, but she also knew this was the only way. No loose ends this time. Say goodye properly, to things that were. To be able to enjoy all the adventure that was still to come. Life could not be more exciting than with him.

" Della? " And never was she going to miss out on that massive voice and all of him.

" Yes? " Not ever.

When he put his arm around her shoulder, she looked up to see his face. There was hurt and need for sleep in his eyes. But also the love and gentleness that told her he was okay.

" Let's go home. "

She smiled.


End file.
